13 November 2013 this was my diary entry, and I wonder why I got Stage 3C cancer? Not a surprise after reading this. I had completely forgot about that awful lunch at Salut. Here goes:

LaBouche

I’ve had wicked headaches this week and anaphylactic shock. I bought bagels on Sunday. I asked the clerk what was in the day olds, and she said Sun dried tomatoes and thyme. I bought two sixers.

Monday night I ate a bagel with cream cheese and lox. I woke up very early Tuesday and was super itchy. By Tuesday night my entire back was covered in hives and they had started in on my neck, chest, stomach and buttocks. Then yesterday my lymph nodes exploded. I ended up in the ER with my throat closing and an IV drip of saline and steroids. Then I was given Prednisone to take home for four days. Bloody bagels have walnuts in them!

DH and I went to lunch. The woman behind the bar was super rude and I was tense and became shrill and irate when I explained four times that I KNEW what a Ploghman’s Lunch was as I had lived in France and can you not hear me? By the fourth time I am practically screaming at this woman! DH was all confused because woman had grabbed away the menu we had, ignored his question about the price of the Ploughman’s and walked off.

So, I’m angry and anxious and shaking; I want to leave. DH is confused. She came back called me a bitch and said she wouldn’t wait on us. Manager came over and brought someone that had waited on us before, or so he said. We hadn’t been to this restaurant in at least two years. Dirk was very nice. Schmoozy. Super great service. Manager apologized, and during his apology the original woman started talking over him. He turned and gave her a look I could not see.

She continued to come near us and bang about, staring at me until I looked away with hatred in her eyes. I was in TEARS! I’m sitting in a restaurant CRYING! I’m mortified.

We were moved. AGAIN. She did stay away from our table this time. They comped out our lunch and Dirk gave us oodles of goodies. Baguettes to take home, a desert we didn’t ask for, etc.

I feel so frustrated. Ever since I pretty much gave up drinking alcohol and weaned off Xanax I feel nuts. I had been on Xanax for almost 18 years. It took me six weeks to wean off my four 1 mg a day pills. But now I’m anxious, not all the time, but I’d say 75% of the time.

I have interviews for work. I’m travelling the next two weeks. Next week to Chicago for St. Paddy’s Day craziness + friends and the following week to LA to see friends. I’ve paid for our hotels, and the flight to LA in advance. Now I’m panicking! I don’t know if I want to go! I can barely handle thinking about interviews next week. I don’t even know if I’ll be able to get to them. I’m completely freaked out. OK, I feel like 2% better now. Sigh.

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