Due to all the nagging that I go back to chemo, I switched oncologists. This one doesn’t have slapstick humor like Bloom, which in all honesty I can’t stand. Life is too short to think I’ll be seeing the same oncologist for ten years (knock on wood) and have to fake laugh when I don’t think he’s funny. He’s an amazing doctor, as doctor’s go; Merlin is better, but Merlin and I have similarities. Bloom and I do too, but he’s cagey and tells half-truths.

I was at Tiffany’s kvetching to Sandee (or Sandy) as I bought Miriam’s Valentine’s Day gift. She saw Bloom for the same reason I did: MOT; and she switched to Zander. So MOT doesn’t hold much water these days. Sigh.

Dr. Huang is semi-truthful. We think that lies and oncology go hand-in-hand. Without a PET/CT scan I’m now at 50/50 and I met a woman who was 3C IBC eight and a half years ago! I’m still a bit sad and feel isolated, and am busy taking out all my angst on poor Jon who doesn’t deserve it, but I’ve made calls for cancer therapists. I have also connected with an IBC group. It’s women who are in various stages of treatment as well as survivors all over the world, and these women have saved my bloody sanity lately.

Yesterday was Taxol and pre-meds. Those drugs make me feel exhausted. I’m prostrate Wednesdays, which are Taxol days, until Sunday. I was poked four times before they got in the IV yesterday. I was quiet, it hurt like hell, and I just can’t seem to get away from how much I hate seeing needles. Hypnosis?

I ADORE the Edina office of MN Oncology. Better skullcap hats. Great snacks. Nurses who don’t chitchat you up when you’re the kind of person that doesn’t want to discuss your bowels, symptoms, or anything else personal with anyone but your physician or her nurse. A bonus, a former trainer who retired with a pension from ING who does neuropathy no-charge massages for your feet. It kept us a bit longer yesterday, but Jon was working, and we were in a room with a door because they were packed in the main infusion room. Julie was marvelous! I loved connecting with her about our tragically marginalized talents. Ha.

Taxol side affects besides several days fatigue and not sleeping much because of pre-meds are: left foot neuropathy (the side of the traitorous breast), edema, hand swelling and arthritic-type pain. I now have to do warm-up exercises and have been in too much pain to type much. For some reason I’ve been getting random migraines around Taxol time as well. Those are something I know what to do about though.

So, nine more weeks of Taxol. See my surgeon on Monday and ask Howard a bazillion questions. Have left message for Wilke, my plastic surgeon, to talk reconstruction and how much will lipo cost to counter fill and while I’m there I have moles on the back of my neck that I want removed.

Applying for grants because this has been an expensive four months!

I’m off strong pain meds. Breast pain is way better.

With a nod to Nina for a week worth of lasagna last week, and all the Annunciation mums: I could NOT do this without all you marvelous women that are helping us with food. A special thanks to Shelly for watching Zack so we could go to Chi for a short break too. You save us all from chronic take-away; which would mean I wouldn’t be back to a solid size 10 and only 15# from goal weight. Jon’s down 15# too! Eating better every day feels amazing even if I do miss my friend Strongbow.

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