These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers:

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER:

8 years old, hateful little bastard.  Bites! 


FREE PUPPIES
:

1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour’s dog. 


FREE PUPPIES:

Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd. 
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.


COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.:

Also 1 gay bull for sale.


JOINING NUDIST COLONY:

Must sell washer and dryer £100.


WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE:

Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie.

FOR SALE BY OWNER:

Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, £200 or best offer.

No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything. 


Statement of the Century
Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker–Billy Connolly.

“If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, How come they can’t have a headache and sex at the same time?”

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